What do you wish for when you see a falling star? Our deepest thoughts and dreams say a lot about who we are. Probably the most. Those are the things we rarely get to see in others. When we do, it’s just a glimpse; a blink and it’s gone.  I’m not about to share my biggest hopes and dreams.  What i wish for is for me to know.  If i ever care to share it, it’s because I want you to know.  Sometimes I feel completely transparent. Other times I feel like no one can see into my head.  Maybe it was all the adrenaline from a day of slamming my guts around at top speeds on high flying roller coasters, but my arrhythmia flared up again last night as I was trying to sleep.  Needless to say I did not sleep well. My dreams lately have been rather realistic.  Nothing fantastic or magical.  I wish I could do magic, though.  That’s a wish I’ll share I’m sure.  I almost certainly have some of the best news I have gotten perhaps in my life.  I still can’t share. Because it’s not 100 percent sure. And I don’t want my hopes to crush. Even though I’m pretty sure at this point, if it doesn’t work out, I will be drunk the entire month of November.  Still. Until it’s 100 percent, I’m not getting every one else’s hopes up.  Even though those close already know.  Bah  This is a really long paragraph. haha.  It’s not really a paragraph.  More like a stream of thoughts.  A very edited stream, of course.  If only I could say everything I thought. Everyone would probably run away screaming.  Or they’d put me away for life.  Sometimes I wonder if being considered crazy would be such a bad thing.  I’m not really sure.  I just had a mental block because a song came on my itunes.  Dear pacific day, won’t you take me away?  It’s a beautiful day outside. I’m stuck indoors for a while. Doing work. I got super burnt yesterday, but I’ll probably go to the beach and read anyway. Unless my dad wants to do something.  I can’t get a hold of him, though.  Not my fault this time.  Everything will be ok soon. We don’t really have a choice in that matter. It has to be ok. Someone or everyone or no one. That made no sense. It did.  Weird says something, though. It says things aren’t right. Or maybe it’s just a transition.  Maybe I’m always wrong.  I feel like I should go back and change all this into paragraphs, but that seems like way too much work right now.  I’ll just publish this horribly long paragraph and make everyone read through it annoyingly.  It’s only 3 days til Harry Potter. I’m so freaked. It’s only 3 days til Teddy gets home.  Things have changed so much since he left.  I wonder if life will make more sense.  I wonder if I’ll ever be able to let go.  I figured something out while I was trying to fall asleep.  My brain doesn’t like to let go.  I mean, I knew that.  But while I’m trying to sleep.  It just keeps getting away.  It likes being conscious, thinking, working.  It doesn’t like giving in to sleep.  Maybe that’s why my heart doesn’t work right. Arrhythmia caused by brain overload.