OK so here’s my BOSFRONZ blog post.  Prepare to cry…that’s more of a warning to myself because really no one else cries at these things besides Jeff and John.  In a nutshell 2009 was the year of the eyebrows.  I don’t know exactly what that means and I don’t have the desire to try to prove it, although I’m sure I could.  All I know is that I had eyebrows all of 2009, and so did my friends.

For me, personally, 2009 was meteoric considering accomplishments.  I am so incredibly lucky to have had such amazing opportunities.  Things I was able to do: went to China, lived in NYC for a month and a half, performed at the Northrop, showed choreography at ACDFA and was extremely well received, and countless other things that I’m sort of blanking on right now.

So I thought I’d go through these photos and sort of non-chronologically explain the year.  I’ll go top to bottom left to right.

1.  China was INCREDIBLE. This pic was taken with all the company, guests, and spouses who were along for the ride.  What an AMAZING adventure.  We literally flew over the world to get there and back.  Without a doubt the memories from this trip will never leave me.

2.  OF COURSE if you’ve ever seen my besti, Jeff, and my wall to wall on facebook, you might notice the trend of starting every statement, question, remark, and basically anything with “remember whens”.   I mean, it’s impossible to remember something that hasn’t happened yet, but it’s not about “making sense”.

3.  This was Ra’mon and I’s first night in New York!  We were in Times Square looking for someplace to eat and he stopped me and said, ok before we do anything else we need to take a picture here. 🙂 So cute and happy.  We look like we belong there, no?

4.  This was my FIRST Limon company experience back in March.  The dancers were staying at the Westin and us U of Mers went to hang out and take them out for a night on the town the Minnesota (which equals freezing, naturally) way.

5.  So this is really cut off but it’s John Sand and I posing at the Citypages photobooth on the 4th of July at Too Much Love.  Clearly we were dressing down that night and thinking rather conservatively.  Also, we were by no means drunk.

6.  Another John Sand and Brent Radeke classic.  The U Otter was the perfect night before I headed to NYC.  We sang karaoke and drank whisky cokes and generally had a brilliant time, like always.  What I remember most from that night is my clever tactics in avoiding a trip to White Caste and instead directing hunger toward the wonderful and always open McDonalds.

7.  FORD HALL. Besti Jeff and I posed in front of the infamous and fordable Ford Hall on the Fierce Purple Cardigan holiday known as Gay Easter.  Of course no GE could be complete without a trip to Noodles.  We walked all over campus but eventually we ate and finished off the night watching Jesus Christ Super Star for Pjsesus.

8.  (2nd row furtherst right)  2009 UDT and I believe it was opening night.  Duncan, Kat, and I were sporting our fierce costumes for Shapiro and Smith’s “A Moment Before”.  Starr’s in the background making fun of our wedgies, I’m sure.  An amazing cast, an amazing dance, and an amazing UDT.  I miss dancing with everyone back home more than a little bit.

9.  My favorite part of the summer is my “vacation” up north to Nisswa.  Riding on the jetski with my cousins and getting tan in my tiny swimsuit was the goal and i SUCCEEDED.  I also succeeded at getting drunk by noon and taking shots with my mother.

10.  Biggie Slims and I rockin out the NYE 2009 at the Crystal Ball. OH WHAT A NIGHT.  Let’s just say that BEP song was pretty true 4sr.

11.  Me and my hero, Ananya on my last day at work at ADT.  Miss her and that work and those amazing women and doing some social justice but trying to forge my own path now.

12.  Jesi and I were 2cool4school eating lunch on the steps of the Met.  Gossip Girl XOXO.  That’s right, I’m the queen bee.

13.  (bottom left)  Harry Potter 6 was probably one of THE highlights of the summer for me.  Dressed up and going to the midnight showing.  I swear I went with the most creative group of costumes.  I was the least creative, but I at least wasn’t like Ron or Harry or something.  IT WAS SO GOOD.

14.  Honestly, 2009 (and part of 2008) were the years of Missa Brevis.  I have been doing Limon work now for over a year. CRAZY.  It brought me to China, though so I can’t really complain…at all.  The part in the pic is from the sextet.

15.  STATE FAIR DUH.  Me and the ladies went to the state fair and stuffed ourselves with entirely too much food and I ruined a pair of shorts dancing and we got SOAKED on a water ride.  One of THE BEST days of the year.  I am definitely coming back next year for some more food and laughs.

16.  (Last but definitely not least) Transmission.  Kara, John and I (the sprfshn trio) invaded Jager for 80s night.  Of course we were the most fabulous people there, but we didn’t win the Madonna discography for best costume.  Not cool.  Of course we went to McDonalds after and of course we had a fabulous time.  There’s always drama, of course, with some ex or another showing up but what’s fun without a little FLARE?  (If I don’t stop writing soon I’m going to throw up)  I was clearly an 80s dancer and John was some country star or something.

OK those were my 16 pictures.  2009 is done and i’m ovr it.


In 2010 John Sand WILL watch Cats.

So I am starting to think about spring and summer, naturally, because there was a snow storm yesterday.  If I could just wear this every day that would be perfect.  Or something like this.  It’s from the SS 2010 Burberry Prorsum and I WANT it.  OK, So I’ll stop pretending like I could ever afford that.  I personally can’t wait for the spring.  This whole winter thing is pretty, like always, but the snow is already starting to get dirty, black, and compacted.  The soft, fluffy stuff, for those of you who don’t know (and I am only pretending to think that people outside of my immediate friend group who have lived in the wintery wonderland forever) only stays around for about 3 hours.  After that, people drive and destroy it all.  Argyle was slightly different.  At least the fields and snow drifts remained relatively untouched.  It’s prettier, but also MUCH colder there.  I do not envy the -50 weather that’s been recorded up there already this year.

Here are some “friendly tips” for winter in the Midwestern Tundra.

1. Fight the weather with sprfshn.  Fur is in, so wear it.  It’s warm.  OK I’m not going to be friends with PETA anytime soon, but I like eating chicken and turkey anyway.

2.  Always turn your wheel INTO the spin.  I don’t know if they actually teach this anywhere besides NW Minnesota, but if you’re driving and you start to go into a spin, turn the wheel WITH the spin.  It’s the only way you’ll get out.  It feels counter intuitive, but it will SAVE your life.

3.  Drink lots of STARBYS.  Nothing keeps you warm like a Venti quad nonfat caramel macchiato.  If you like skinny vanilla latte’s like JOHN, that’s fine too.  Just keep yourself hydrated and warm.  Also, carry around those travel mugs.

4.  If you get frostbite, sit on your hands until you can feel them again.  I know it hurts, but you have to do it.  Heating pads work too.  If it’s -30 degrees outside, try not to stay outside for more than 3 minutes at a time. (this is not a scientific number, i’m just guestimating, naturally.)

5.  The most important thing to do in the winter is to exercise.  Sure your merona wool sweater will stretch and give, but your t shirt and tanktops in the spring and summer probably won’t.  Also, exercising fights seasonal depression…it’s a proven fact, people.  Just do Yoga or take a walk or do 30 minutes on the elliptical.  The naturalized impulse is to hibernate.  FIGHT IT. We aren’t bears…

OK, Martha is on now.  Speaking of YOGA, they’re doing a yoga show today.  Martha opened the show in a headstand.  Everyone’s showing their favorite pose.  Here’s mine.

So it’s 2010. Woh, right? When did that happen? Not sure. Well I guess it happened at midnight on Jan 1st…but yeah. I spent NYE at International Market Square dancing and partying the night away with Jessica and Ra’mon. It was probably the first NYE that I haven’t been upset and I can genuinely say I had an amazing time. It was my last big night in Minneapolis, at least as a full resident. That’s correct, I have finally moved away from the Minni apple. Weird, no? After 6 years or so in that city I’ve graduated further east. I’m in Milwaukee now living with Ra’mon and LOVING IT. OK, today it’s snowing, but I’m looking for jobs and emailing dance companies right now. It’s sort of exciting to get out and actually take control of my future. Does Milwaukee have a bigger dance scene than Minneapolis? No…but it probably has more opportunities. I wasn’t getting what I wanted/needed out of the Mpls dance stuff, so hopefully here I can dance and choreograph a little more. Maybe show my stuff some places and start my own company, or at least my own dance collective. That’s the plan at least.

I am slightly concerned about the whole dance world, though. I’m not 100 percent sure it’s what I want. I feel pretty strongly that the sort of dance I want to do is not as radical as my political mind would like it to be. It’s hard. I don’t want to do the super post modern, basically physical theatre dance that is stereotypically political. Why can’t physical, “pretty” dance be political? It can…I will make it so.

So I’m GOING TO BLOG MORE. I don’t have much else going on right now anyway. I saw this yesterday on my friend Kara’s wall after our friend Amy posted it on hers. It’s a mashup of the top 25 songs of 2009. It’s pretty damn brilliant. It took A LOT OF TIME. HOLY SHIT I JUST HEARD THAT WE LIVE IN A POST FEMINIST WORLD. Please don’t watch Tyra Banks…it’s AWFUL. OK…sorry for that tangent. Ok, here is the link. And I think I’m gonna be done blogging for today.


Here goes.  I’m in Minneapolis for the time being.  I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but it won’t be more than a few months.  Nyc, China, Nyc were AMAZING.  I’m going to upload some pictures, but all of my photos are going to be on facebook, so you should probably check there.  If you don’t have facebook, IDK, that’s really not my problem.  ❤

I feel like writing about China doesn’t do it justice.  I’ll have the memories forever; and as much as I’d like to share these memories with everyone I know, I haven’t figured out the best way to do it.  I can tell you though, that jet lag is HORRIBLE.  I’m still not sleeping right, and I’m hungry at weird times and can hardly finish an American meal.  I also have an awful craving for Arby’s pretty much at all times: unfortunate.

I have a boifranz now.  He’s amazing.  It’s been a while coming.  We’ve been back and forth between Milwaukee, Minneapolis, and NYC.  I’m uber excited to see him this weekend in Milwaukee to have our own little Christmas.  I have to get the presents ready.  I don’t think I could be happier in that respect.

This is a pic of Ra’ and me in NYC the first time we were there together.  He was staying at the Sofitel and we painted the town singing and dancing away at places like Duplex and eating amazing meals at STK and sharing delicious cheesecake at Juniors.  New York is an amazing place to fall in love.  The lights, the music, the electricity: it’s all there.

The second trip to NYC we got to go to MoMA.  Omg.  Can I just say how spectacular it was?  There was a Tim Burton retrospective with and also Monet’s water lilies.  We weren’t allowed to take photos of Burton’s exhibit, but I got some of the museum in general.

We did some shopping also in Soho.  I’m missing the city already.  The fashion, the lights, the excitement.  If I chose not to do something, it’s because I had a choice.  I’ve only been gone a few days but I’m already itching to get back.  I am gonna miss the accessibility to all the shops and all the stores I loved going into while I was there.  Minneapolis is great, but it’s not NYC.

SO the reason for the whole trip was dancing with the Limon company.  It was quite an amazing experience.  I LOVED dancing every day and getting paid to do so.  I didn’t have to have another job to support me while I was there, I could just focus on my art and getting my body in tip top shape for performance.  Speaking of my body, my hip hurts like a MOFO. I need to get it checked out for hip surgery while I’m here.  I really need to do it this time because I can’t have this keep happening.  Anywhoser, (my new phrase picked up from some girl in Coffman) Ok I just lost my train of thought because I walked away from my computer.  Whoops.  Oh yes Limon.  Dancing with them was AMAZING. I loved feeling part of something like that.  THe dancers are amazing and great and treat you like an equal even if you’re merely guest dancing with them.  I feel like I formed some really close bonds and long-lasting friendships which I hope to continue to grow when I move back to NYC.  Again, I will keep updated as to when that’s happening, but it WILL happen and it WILL happen soon.

Jesi and I had a blast in NYC too.  We had movie nights, blockbuster visits, we went and had lunch on the steps of the Met on saturday and pretended we were famous.  We ordered sushi to get a diet coke, we ate Thai food in the dark, we watched lots of Star Trek, and we had an amazing Thanksgiving next to Central Park.  I am so thankful to her for allowing me to crash there.  Lots of love go out to her and also for letting Ra’ crash there a few nights the second time he came.  The best thing we did, though was after I flew back from China.  We spent my last day in NYC the right way: shopping, skating in Rockefeller Center, and then an evening of Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater at City Center.  It was spectacular.


It was an adventure of a lifetime.  I’m surprised by how little culture shock I experienced.  Even though everything was pretty much in Chinese, and few people spoke more than a few words of English, I was able to get myself around with a lot of ease.  That’s probably because of China’s attempt to make the city tourist ready for the Beijing Olympics.  The theatre was out of this world amazing.  It was huge and everyone who worked there was incredibly kind.  Backstage everything looked the same.  There were multiple theatres in the large complex and it was very easy to get lost.  Luckily, the floors were color coded based on the theatre you were performing in…we were in the red theatre…so i never got FULLY lost.

I did a lot of touristy things.  I saw the great wall, which is where the top pic is from, obviously.  It was breathtaking.  Probably one of the most beautiful things I’ll ever see in my life, at least manmade.  I was taken by the thought that had to go into the construction of the wall, the angle, gradient, depth of the steps.  I would love to go back some day and spend more time there in the summer, but I’m not sure if that’ll ever happen.  I also saw the Forbidden City.  Beautiful.

Basically everything about China was interesting.  The pollution was incredibly thick, the people were generally pretty kind and helpful, but there was a lot of “Where are you from” and “Have you seen the Foribidden City” sort of English.  My favorite was when I was at the Silk Market, a highly touristy location with a lot of shops and imitation luxury fashion goods the merchants used “hello sexy boy, hi handsome, you want purse for your wife” a great deal.  I don’t have a wife…duh.

Ok, I’m running out of steam.   This may be my only China/NYC post.  I had an amazing time. Now I’m back for a short while, going to enjoy the holiday with family and see some friends.

Ok, time to vamboozle.


this video is sick good. and i’ve been listening to the song nonstop.

So I’m gonna write a little before I go to sleep. I’m tired. Rehearsals take a lot out of me.  I love it though. I feel as though I want to move here.  I know I said that before. But I’ll probably say it over and over again.

I went to D.C. this weekend for Ra’s fashion show.  It was AMAZING.  It was great to see him in his element.  And to see him period.

This is a bad blog. Haha. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go to the Macy’s Day Parade.  I will let everyone know what i’m wearing and where i will be so they can try to find me on t.v. from home.  Got a bunch of stuff for China today.

I think writing like this can be therapeutic. Anyway.  Read read read.  Everyone.

I’m going to sleep.


So I’d like to begin by apologizing for my lack of posts lately.  I’ve been quite busy on my worldwind tour.  I’m all settled in Astoria with my friend Jesi and right now we are plotting out our day.  Fall in NY is beautiful, although I miss the trees and leaves that are all over Lake Calhoun.  Still, it’s pretty here, and it’s warm, and I am having the time of my life.

There’s so much to blog about, so much to say but I haven’t quite figured out my angle yet.  I just started reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.  I might make this blog slightly more private…maybe.

I start rehearsals on Monday!!! I’m going to be learning Traitor in addition to Missa now.  I’ll be the cover for the tour.  So exciting!  It’s great to be dancing here.  It feels right.  I feel right at home.  I’m discovering new places to find coffee, new places to eat overpriced deli sandwiches.  I do miss people though.  It’s weird to be away from the people I’ve grown to love and expect to be there for me.  Wednesday marked my first pang of homesickness.  I’ll be ok, though.  Just need to get into rehearsals then I’ll be too tired to think about anything.

Ok, more to come, I’m sure.  I just thought I’d let everyone know I’m not dead and I’m very very happy.  Seriously going to figure out how i’m going to blog everything is going to take a while so be somewhat patient, as I’m sure you are.

My last post was a little too angsty for my liking.  I’m actually doing well.  I can’t wait for New York; we’re almost into the teens, people.  I’m just enjoying life more and more each day.  I use the phrase more and more too often.  I have noticed that in academic papers.  Anyway, there’s a lot to be happy about; a lot of positive energy; a lot to feel thankful for, and that’s really what fall’s about, right?  Idk.  I’m very excited for Halloween.  What do people do in NYC for Halloween?  I guess I’ll find out.

I’m really excited to get my ass back in gear and really start dancing like mad again.  I need to get myself more into shape before that though; a few classes a week isn’t really amounting to much so far.  It might be slightly (or way more than slightly) narcissistic of me, but I have a print of me hanging in my room of me doing this fierce jump.  I took a picture with my phone a while ago, but the quality in the print is much better and it’s not in black and white.

It’s pretty good.  I have another one of myself doing a C jump which I’ve been trying to figure out where to put in my room, but no luck so far.

Again, the quality is much better in the print, but still.  When I get sad, I remember that I could do this, and I really can again if I get my butt in gear.

Ok. I think it might be time for a little nap before a night of reading, cleaning, and rejuvenating.

This isn’t the right time. It isn’t the right place.  It all feels wrong.  Last night was bad.  I can’t even really talk about it.  I wish I could, but it’s too deep. IDK. What makes me like this? Whatever it is, I want it gone.  I just hope to keep repeating that this is all wrong and not the right time.  I’m the only thing that is in my way from not being ok.  Just suck it the fuck up.  Or get the f out. I don’t know.

Next year I want to run a marathon.  I feel like I need goals like this to accomplish.  I’ve said I wanted to before; this time I’m for sure going to do it.  I just need new shoes; new shorts; and hip surgery, and I’ll be all set.  Works right?  Idk.  Running gets my mind off things.  My hip just hurts too much to do it right now.  I could go swimming I suppose.  What’s an injured boy to do?  Also, I feel old.  And not as attractive as I used to feel.  Like I’m not good enough?  Idk.  Time to figure shit out I suppose.

You know when you’re so close to something you want that you can taste it?  It’s significantly difficult.  It’s a precarious matter. It’s a slippery slope:  maybe not in the conventional usage of the phrase, but you feel like you could fall over at any given time.  Life is like that for me right now.  Too close to the untouchable, to the unchangeable.  I’m roughly 2 weeks away from escape, though.  I thought I’d be thrilled to get away, but now I’m not 100 percent sure.  I feel a little weird, not ready.  I never really feel ready for anything I’m doing though. Practice practice practice think think practice think think practice.  How can I get through days like this?  I’m not trying to be emo or angsty.  I’m really just wondering. So much is at stake right now in so many ways.  How do you know which way to go?  Follow your heart, your head, or your dream?  I guess it seems like sometimes you when you want to do all 3 it becomes increasingly difficult to do any of them.  I end up sitting here, not really moving, not really taking any chances.  I’m pretty sure I want to figure it all out, to go away for a weekend to think, to escape to the woods and just be without any distractions to clear my head, heart, and hopes.  It isn’t enough just to think that everything’s clear right now because I’m pretty sure that none of it is.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?  I should write more, vent more, eat more, read more, live more.  I should do so many shoulds and I hate shoulds more than most other things. I’m incredibly annoyed too.  I wish people would grow up, or get a clue, or open their eyes.  I wish I weren’t so veiled.  I wish people knew when I was being serious.  I wish so much.  I wish, I think, I dream, I hope.  Do you see a trend?

Fall’s a good time of year.  I like it the most.  I’m excited to be in a new place for it.  To fall madly in love with a city I know very little about.  I’m scared to leave everything behind.  I’m terrified of coming back and it all being changed, or maybe worse for it to be mostly the same but feeling not right because I can’t figure out what’s changed.

Anyway, I’ll write again later. Maybe tonight but for sure tomorrow.  I don’t know if writing is good for me, but I’ll do it.