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This isn’t the right time. It isn’t the right place.  It all feels wrong.  Last night was bad.  I can’t even really talk about it.  I wish I could, but it’s too deep. IDK. What makes me like this? Whatever it is, I want it gone.  I just hope to keep repeating that this is all wrong and not the right time.  I’m the only thing that is in my way from not being ok.  Just suck it the fuck up.  Or get the f out. I don’t know.

Next year I want to run a marathon.  I feel like I need goals like this to accomplish.  I’ve said I wanted to before; this time I’m for sure going to do it.  I just need new shoes; new shorts; and hip surgery, and I’ll be all set.  Works right?  Idk.  Running gets my mind off things.  My hip just hurts too much to do it right now.  I could go swimming I suppose.  What’s an injured boy to do?  Also, I feel old.  And not as attractive as I used to feel.  Like I’m not good enough?  Idk.  Time to figure shit out I suppose.