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My last post was a little too angsty for my liking.  I’m actually doing well.  I can’t wait for New York; we’re almost into the teens, people.  I’m just enjoying life more and more each day.  I use the phrase more and more too often.  I have noticed that in academic papers.  Anyway, there’s a lot to be happy about; a lot of positive energy; a lot to feel thankful for, and that’s really what fall’s about, right?  Idk.  I’m very excited for Halloween.  What do people do in NYC for Halloween?  I guess I’ll find out.

I’m really excited to get my ass back in gear and really start dancing like mad again.  I need to get myself more into shape before that though; a few classes a week isn’t really amounting to much so far.  It might be slightly (or way more than slightly) narcissistic of me, but I have a print of me hanging in my room of me doing this fierce jump.  I took a picture with my phone a while ago, but the quality in the print is much better and it’s not in black and white.

It’s pretty good.  I have another one of myself doing a C jump which I’ve been trying to figure out where to put in my room, but no luck so far.

Again, the quality is much better in the print, but still.  When I get sad, I remember that I could do this, and I really can again if I get my butt in gear.

Ok. I think it might be time for a little nap before a night of reading, cleaning, and rejuvenating.

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This isn’t the right time. It isn’t the right place.  It all feels wrong.  Last night was bad.  I can’t even really talk about it.  I wish I could, but it’s too deep. IDK. What makes me like this? Whatever it is, I want it gone.  I just hope to keep repeating that this is all wrong and not the right time.  I’m the only thing that is in my way from not being ok.  Just suck it the fuck up.  Or get the f out. I don’t know.

Next year I want to run a marathon.  I feel like I need goals like this to accomplish.  I’ve said I wanted to before; this time I’m for sure going to do it.  I just need new shoes; new shorts; and hip surgery, and I’ll be all set.  Works right?  Idk.  Running gets my mind off things.  My hip just hurts too much to do it right now.  I could go swimming I suppose.  What’s an injured boy to do?  Also, I feel old.  And not as attractive as I used to feel.  Like I’m not good enough?  Idk.  Time to figure shit out I suppose.